Another Miracle Baby: Jake Oborn

After we found out that we were pregnant on Christmas Eve 2011, we were excited beyond belief.  This time, however, we decided to implant 3 embryos instead of the usual 2, since 3 had survived the 5-day culture in the lab.  To this point, every single embryo that has ever been "uploaded" to Debbie has taken, so we were very excited and scared when we attended the first ultrasound in February.

To our amazement, there was only one "sack" showing up on the computer monitor that attaches to the ultra-sound machine.  "There must be another on in there somewhere" I quipped to the nurse.  "Nope.  Just one." she replied.  Sure enough, we were having a singleton.

Shortly thereafter, Debbie started bleeding - AGAIN.  It was like Groundhog Day with all of the stress and trauma that you experience when it appears life is going to deal you another heartbreaking setback.  After much prayer and another evaluation we discovered that one of the other embryos that didn't make it needed to come out to make way for the one fetus that had implanted.  The bleeding was coming from an entirely different area of the uterus and the baby was fine, for now.

A few weeks later the bleeding stopped and our little miracle began to grow and grow.  Debbie was privileged to experience the major inconveniences that come with being pregnant:  swollen feet, insomnia, acid reflux, nausia, and the constant feeling of being hot.  Although the summer of 2012 was a very hot one, you wouldn't know it by stepping foot into the Oborn house.  I had this place feeling like an icebox so that Debbie could find some level of comfort as she "rented" her body out for one last miracle baby to grow and thrive.

Month after month passed.   Each utlra-sound looked great.  Expectations and hope increased with each visit to IHC Hospital in Murray - our new choice for prenatal care.  We were referred there to Dr. Terry personally by Dr. Richards.  This time, we weren't taking any chances.

Soon, the date we planned to induce labor was set:  August 28, 2012.  The entire month of August Debbie labored diligently to have everything ready for the baby:  the crib, stroller, clothes, changing table, etc.  It was like going back in a time machine sorting through all of Darien's old stuff, plus items we'd been given from other families who no longer had any use for old baby items.  At work, I lined up all of my projects to cross the finish line on or before the 28th as well.  Everything was going exactly according to plan until ....

Debbie woke me up from a deep sleep at 4:14AM on August 18, 2012.  "Patrick!  Wake up - my water broke!  We need to go!"

"But .... now?  Huh!?"  I was still in deep sleep mode, most likely a result of the many workouts I'd been doing to prepare myself for a triathlon race on Aug 25.

We both took real quick showers and began packing our bags.  "Dang it!  I just don't know what to bring!" Debbie kept saying.  We were so prepared for this baby.  Well, everything except that part where we actually HAVE the baby.

We called the home of Debbie's sister, Lindy, at 4:30 AM.  Voicemail.  One more time .... "Hello!?" said my brother-in-law Brett on the other end of the phone.  "Brett.  Water broke.  Send Brianna to babysit."  Yes, my conversation was in a sort of cryptic code that all men understand.  "She's on her way" ... click.

Soon we had our babysitter and we were on our way to the hospital at the ripe old hour of 5:00 AM.

We arrived at the IHC Murray hospital around 5:30 AM, checked in, and settled in to our temporary home in the labor/delivery department.  Debbie was in the care of some great nurses and doctors from that point forward.  Our only problem was the she wasn't dilated at ALL!   A big -0-!

"Vitamin P" as the nurse called it (Pitosin), was administered beginning at 8:00 AM to get this show moving.  Hour after hour, just small progress.  To pass the time we came up with a contest where we'd all try to guess the delivery time and the weight of the baby.  My guess as 4:30 PM and 7 lbs., 6 oz.  All of the guesses were recorded on the white board in the room so that no one could change their guesses later on.  We asked our nurse, Becky, why she guesses 7:00 PM, which seemed upsurd at the time, and she responded with "well, that's when my shift ends, and I want to see that baby before I go home!"

Soon, we started to see some progress.  2 cm.... 5 cm .... 8 cm .... Things were going smoothly until Debbie wiggled around trying to get comfortable and suddenly felt light-headed.  The baby's heart rate also dropped to a precarious level (62 bpm - with 115 being normal).  The nurse noticed Debbie had accidentally pinched the pitosin IV line and when she turned, a bunch of backed-up pitocin raced into her IV.  Becky shut the pitocin off for a few hours to give mommy and baby a chance to recover, and around 4:00 PM we started it back up.

With that minor delay thrown into the mix, we watched all of our times on the whiteboard go by the wayside, except Becky's crazy pick of 7:00 PM.  Finally, at 6:35PM, things started to get exciting.  The cervix was all but gone, contractions were about a minute apart, and dilation was a 10!  The doctor (all I know is his first name was Steve ... SUPER nice guy) quickly gowned up and Becky converted the bed into a birthing station almost instantly.  A few hard pushed (3 to be exact), and we were looking at our third miracle baby!

Jake Dyer Oborn was born at 6:57 PM - just 3 minutes before the end of nurse Becky's shift.  He weighed 7 lbs, 3 oz., and measured 21 inches long.

My first impression was that he looked EXACTLY like Darien when he was born almost 7 years ago.  DARK, full hair, dimples, little double-chin .... in fact, here is a comparison of the two:

By 9:00 PM we were moved to the 2nd floor (recovery rooms) where we were met by my parents!  Kent and Sharyl, upon hearing the news of Debbie's water breaking, jumped in their car and drove all day to get here from La Quinta, CA.  It was so great to see them here to welcome Jake into the world.

Then the twins arrived with aunt Joni.  I watched with keen interest how my twins, who up to this point have been the center of our universe, would take to a new member of the family; a new person with whom to share the spotlight.

Darien went first ... "Dad, his eyes are closed.  Why?" Darien asked.  He looked at the baby like a scientist looks at a new chemical solution.  Very inquisitive.  Lots of questions.  A bit hesitant to jump in with both feet.

Grace on the other had yelled out "Oh!  He's SOOOOOO cute!!!" and wanted to hold him immediately.

They both did great holding their little brother for the first time and I'm sure they'll get lots of chances in the future to do so!

All in all, everything went according to script on Day 1.  As I was driving the kids home that night a tear came to my eye as I took a second to reminisce on the long, hard, (and expensive) journey to get my family here from Heaven.  3 beautiful children.  4 in-vitro attempts.  2 babies lost.  1 incredible wife.  It's all a bit overwhelming.

I've done a lot of incredible things in business, athletics, and in academia -- but NOTHING even comes close to the pride I feel in my family.  I also know that I've had a lot of help along the way: thank you Heavenly Father for your glorious plan.  Although my path to fatherhood hasn't been the easiest one, I'm grateful you gave me the strength to help me across the finish line.  I felt like giving up, losing hope, and just accepting "reality" but You help me and Debbie change that reality into the one we have been 'dreaming about since the day we got married way back on June 21, 1994.

Now, it's back to the hospital to visit Debbie and Jake for Day 2 of his incredible terrestrial journey.  My prayer now is that Jake doesn't turn yellow and require a light box, or get RSV in his first few weeks like his
older brother Darien.  Still a lot of hurdles to clear, but I pray our miracle baby will continue to overcome them with flying colors.

Hope for a New Day

Ron and Kent's due date is less than a month away, and we think of them often. How big they'd be, what they'd look like, etc. It's been tough to let them go. One day you'll be fine and then, for no reason, something will trigger a brief bout of sadness. The grieving process has stretched out like a non-uniform blanket full of holes that let in cool blasts of air, just to let you know they're there on the other side.

Soon after we lost Ron and Kent, Debbie and I decided to give the invitro-fertilization procedure another chance. The next viable window for treatment would be early December, 2011. We saved up more money, gave Debbie's body some time to heal up, and on December 12, 2011, we implanted three more 150+ cell embryos. A sense of cautious optimism has dwelled in our home and in our souls the past few days, as we awaited the first sign that Debbie was pregnant again. Yesterday, the day before Christmas Eve, we received the news: positive.

Although we know the road ahead won't be easy, or certain, we're grateful to get a second chance. Well, actually a fourth chance. Darien and Grace made this whole thing look and feel so easy. Now, if we can just get those babi(es) to 8-9 months inutero, we'll be looking good.

Fingers crossed. Knees bent in prayer. Here we go again.

A New Chapter

As you can tell, a lot of time has passed since I've kept up this journal. Since I last wrote Darien and Grace have grown up to become beautiful, sweet, adorable children. They are both almost 6 years old - going to start Kindergarten next month. They love playing together, riding bikes, and they can't get enough of theme parks and carnivals. I'm so proud of them each and every day and Debbie is an absolute gem of a mother to them.

Over the past year Debbie and I have tried to replicate our success with Darien and Grace by having more children. As we did the first time, we paid Dr. David Richards (infertility specialist) a visit so that he could help us get to first base with mother nature, since Debbie doesn't ovulate on her own. In March 2010 we implanted 3 embyos ... none of them took. We got the news while I was away in Las Vegas attending a trade show (I'm the VP of Marketing, so it was my Super Bowl of activities). I missed the phone call from Debbie letting me know about the sad news, which compounded the heartache. Note to self - NEVER be away from your wife when life-changing news is going to be delivered.

We took some time to recover emotionally and financially to prepare for the next round, which we did in the Spring of this year (2011). This time we did a few things differently: Debbie had a D&C a few months prior to make sure everything was ship-shape inside, we let the embryos go to 5 days instead of 3 like last time, ensuring we were able to implant the "fittest of the fittest", and everything we swimmingly well. On May 5, 2011 the 2 embyos were transferred to Debbie and, like clockwork, the little ones went to work growing and creating a new home for themselves.

We monitored their growth about every 2 weeks with out-of-pocket ultrasound techs to make extra sure things were going according to plan. Sure enough, the two fetuses were measuring exactly as they should. 6 weeks into the pregnancy the two were measuring just 1 day apart from each other. We were really excited about the progress they were making; every time we were able to sneak a peak at them they were very active - I called them my little break-dancers!

Everything was going really well - minus the intense nausea Debbie experienced on a daily basis - until July 9, 2011. Debbie had just given a talk in Church, mentioning the blessing of the pregnancy several times in her sermon, when she noticed she was bleeding. We rushed her straight from church to the hospital. We did an emergency ultrasound and found the two little guys just hanging out, no problems, but a sub-corneal hematoma was discovered. A few days later, on a foll0w-up visit to Dr. Young, the stand-in OBGYN, we learned that where was some bleeding under then placenta but that it didn't look like it would cause any more problems.

Day after day, the slow trickle of blood refused to relent, and Debbie and I grew more and more worried. Finally, on July 25, 2011, the bleeding intensified, accompanied with shard cramping (ie: labor pains). Not good. We took Debbie back to the E.R. where they pumped her full of morphine and other major pain killers to numb the labor pain, but to no avail. We did an emergency ultrasound at 6:30 PM and found only one baby (who still appeared to be doing just fine, with a regular heart beat, etc.). Baby A - which we later named Kent, had been passed down to the cervix. Not good.

Off to the labor/delivery ward we went. No sooner had we arrived, Debbie began the most intense contractions yet. As things started to exit her body, the back-up OBGYN (Dr. Allen) arrived. (It was Pioneer Day in Utah, so all of our regular doctors were not available) With just a few soft touches he delivered Kent, who had apparently passed away an hour or so earlier. At that time, our attention turned to Baby B, which we'll call Ron. The OB turned on the ultrasound in the room and .... no sign of Ron. A minute later, Ron followed his brother Kent, who fought the eventual outcome for almost a minute after being born far, far too early.

They were both so beautiful. Perfect. Babies. We didn't even know the sex yet, but now it was clear: 2 boys.

Dr. Allen and Aubry, the nurse, just looked up and said "I'm so sorry .... I'm so sorry." I was in shock. Words escaped me. Debbie was still riving in pain, and her work was not yet done. She had to finish the labor, so pitocin was added to her IV so that she could pass the after-birth, which she did about 30 minutes later. I couldn't watch -- my wife was losing lots of blood, my two little boys lay lifeless in the little plastic bin .... horror.

Eventually, with lots of IV fluid and pain killers, Debbie was stable again. She almost needed a blood transfusion she had lost so much blood. From my vantage point, she was remarkably stable (emotionally), asking the doctors pointed questions -- very clinical-like. I, on the other had, was a wreck. I retreated to bed next door (behind the blinds) and just melted down. I texted a few friends and family members to let them know what happened, and with each passing keystroke another tear fell from my eyes. Calls started to come in; I couldn't bear to answer them. I was still trying, in my own feeble way, to process the shock my body was in.

We stayed the night in the hospital, in that labor/delivery room meant for new mothers to bring new life into the world. All I felt was cold .... death ... broken heart ... broken dream. I couldn't sleep -- it all felt like a bad, bad dream. Debbie was on pain meds non-stop, which I think numbed some of the shock she must have been going through. I can't believe what a trooper she was.

Eventually, morning came and we were awakened by the ultrasound tech who peered into Debbie to make sure everything had been evacuated from her uterus. An hour later Dr. Young arrived and let us know that everything looked good - well, good enough to go home - and that his clinical opinion on the event was just "bad luck". He assured Debbie that nothing she did caused this to happen, no lack of vitamins, pre-natal supplements, bed-rest, etc. I'm not sure if we believed it or not, but is was re-assuring to hear.

A few days have now passed since this horrific event in our lives, and we're still trying to figure out what happened. Trying to process the grief. Trying to re-focus on the future. Trying to learn whatever lessons God has for us in this. At this point, just putting the story to paper has been somewhat therapeutic. It ensures that we'll never forget the details. We'll never forget the emotions. And most importantly, we'll never forget you Ron and Kent. Never. Never.

Until we meet in heaven.

Love, your dad.

Twins Growing Out of Control Now!

Hard to believe that the twins just passed the 15 month mark. Not a day goes by without them entered into unchartered waters. Last week Grace learned how to give kisses (with a wide open mouth ... still working on the peck on the lips), Darien learned how to open up the toilet lid, open all of the doors in our house, turn a roll of toilet paper into confetti, and more. Everyday is the same routine: wake up, eat, get ALL of their toys out of the bin, deposit them in random places throughout the house, eat, nap, take all of the tupperware out of the cabinet, make a run for the bathroom to see if they can sneak in when mommy's not watching, eat, see daddy when he gets home from work, play steamroller, monster, and disco dancing, eat, bottle, pajamas, lay down with daddy for a half hour while drinking said bottle, in the crib (with daddy sneaking out of the room on all fours so he's not seen). Each night, at 2 AM and 6 AM ... bottle and diaper changes. Then repeat the whole cycle over again. It's our hope that they'll sleep all the way through the night without the need for mid-air milk refueling, but mommy and I can't bear their midnight cries - yeah, we're softies.

Here is a picture of Darien and Grace at Christmas time!

It's a Miracle - Twins Reach First Birthday

I can't believe a whole year has past since I started this blog for Darien and Grace. The two little miracles have grown like weeds the past 3 months and are developing into little people! They both crawl all around the house, pull themselves up into a standing position on everything, and they get their hands on everything they can - pots, pans, tupperware, toasters, refrigerators (see below), ... you name it, they touch it. Just last week I turned on my shower to allow it a minute to heat up, and by the time I came back little Darien had crawled into the master bathroom, opened the shower door, and crawled into the shower itself. When I came back a minute later, he was soaked! I laughed so hard, took a cute picture (or two), and thought to myself ... "It's starting!" Now, you can't take your eye off of these two for 2 seconds or they'll find their way into some trouble! So cute, but oh so high maintenance!

Twins Enjoying the Summer

This summer has been a blast with the twins. Now that the weather is nice and warm, Darien and Grace have enjoyed many outdoor activities with Debbie and I. We take them for bike rides in their new Chariot, we take them to the park, to the swimming pool, and other fun spots. Grace just started crawling yesterday and Darien began "army" crawling a few weeks ago. They have very funny personalities now - they always try to make people (and each other) laugh by making raspberries with their lips and funny grunts. Grace is starting to grow some serious hair now, and Darien's scalp is completely full of brown curly hair. They are so pleasant to be around (except for bed-time) and they should be walking and saying "no" by the next time I post!

Where Does the Time Go?

I can't believe nearly four months have passed since my last entry in the Baby Blog! Let me rewind back to where I left off and give you a little travelogue of how we made it to April 2006.

December was a great month! We took the twins to get their pictures take for our 2005 edition of the Oborn Family Christmas Cards which also doubled as birth announcements. They looked so cute!

We did our best to keep the little guys warm and we enjoyed spending Christmas with Debbie's family here in Utah.

January started out with a trip to the emergency room for Darien. He came down with a fever, runny nose, and then he developed this terrible sounding cough. We tried to keep him hydrated but his cough turned into wheezing and soon he had trouble breathing. I suspected RSV, so to the hospital we went at 11:59 PM on Friday night. The ER physicians ran a few tests and sure as can be, our little boy had come down with RSV. They immediately admitted him and hooked him up to oxygen so that his clogged lungs could get enough oxygen into his blood stream. The next 3 days were filled with suctioning of his lungs and trachea, constant oxygen lines to his nose, and little sleep for dad - who stayed by his bedside all but 8 hours of his three day hospital weekend. The good news was that only one of the twins came down with RSV. The only thing worse than a baby with RSV is 2 babies with RSV.

Soon after Darien came home, both him a Grace started sleeping 8 hours at night for the first time. Boy were Debbie and I relieved! Nighttime has now been much more peaceful and mommy and daddy are getting enough sleep to actually function somewhat normally.

In March we blessed the twins in the LDS Church. Many relatives came and we had a great time at our house afterwards for the post-blessing party.

Now, as we head into Spring, the babies will start to actually see what the outdoors look like. It has been really cold in Utah since late October (when they were born). Darien is now tipping the scales at 21 lbs and Grace is still a ways behind at 16 lbs. They recently figured out how to make raspberries with their mouths (blowing out your mouth with your tongue stuck out) and they are begriming to roll over and do other semi-coordinated movements. Here is a recent picture of the two:

More to come soon!